Shades Of Lust
By Elton Nana Amoah Jnr
Final Episode – “The Dinner”
All along I thought, the problem was my brother and someone was behind her death not knowing, it was a suicide.
“Why are you now bringing this up?” I asked “I even got arrested for this and now my brother is behind bars for a crime he knows nothing about. “
“I just got hold of it, when I was going through her things.” Ampofo answered. “Look, I know I have messed up a lot, Ruth and…”
I wasn’t ready to hear it. He can keep it to himself for all I care.
“You can save that. That’s not what I want to hear right now” I said, shutting Ampofo down
“The police must get hold of this. We can’t waste anymore time”
“I’m on it” AK said. “ As we speak, The detective and I will be meeting in an hour and I can assure you that your brother will be out by the end of the day”
That was a relief to hear and indeed I trusted AK’s words. Again my emotions came over riding my thoughts.
“That’s a wonderful family you have here” I said.
“Thank you Ruth.” AK said “ I’m sorry I didn’t come clean to you but I promise I will explain everything to you once this is over”
“Well I guess we all have explanation to do” Ampofo said. At this point everything about him was just irritating me.
The only thing I could think of was being alone. The whole thing was practically too much for me.
If Vanessa only would have confided in me, things would have been different and probably she would have been alive now.
The third task on the psychologist list was for me to be able to forgive myself and open up my emotions.
I recalled some of her words – “it’s okay to be hurt because you are in love but when we get hurt, our scars should remind us that we are vulnerable when our emotions are open however when we choose to lock up those emotions, we don’t only damage ourselves but the people around us”
I found myself on the beach, thinking through this words. I felt she was right. What was the point if I hold back. I need not to be afraid of what I feel but instead, I should be afraid of what I am capable of doing when I don’t open up.
And that is what Vanessa did. She didn’t open up to talk about what she was going through and not only did she damage herself, she damaged everyone around her.
Whiles pondering on this at the cozy beach I heard someone called me from behind.
“Madam Ruth”
I turned to see it was, the least I expected, Barista.
“What are you doing here and how did you find me here “ I asked.
“I’m sorry Madam. I’ve been following you around. I wanted to have a word with you” he said.
“My family and I have decided to settle down in Nigeria and I’m very much aware that you know the relationship between your brother and I. I’m not proud of it but I think me leaving will be the best option. Kindly let him know, I came to say goodbye” Barista said.
He didn’t wait for me to say anything more. Once his message was clear, he was already on his way.
The sun was setting and I was still at the beach lost in my own thought when suddenly I heard my phone ring.
It was Vanderwal. He has been released and was already at home waiting for me. For a long time in awhile, I was super excited and I felt this was the perfect moment to execute the fourth and final task of the psychologist list.
I quickly went home and just what I expected my brother was there however, I wasn’t really expecting to see Ampofo and AK too.
To my surprise, they had set a dinner table and were all seated waiting for me. Just when I saw my brother. I hugged him and all he could say was thank you. His smile was bright and beautiful and had sparkled up his face.
Ampofo and AK had already told him about what Vanessa did and somehow he was relieved from harboring those secrets.
On my left was AK and my Right was Ampofo. My brother sat across me. He took up the wine glass and got ready to offer a toast.
“Before, I offer my toast, i think we have something to say to each other and I believe this the time.” He said
“Fine, I will go first.” Ampofo said. “I was foolish. I know. My relationship with Vanessa was close to perfect but I was just messing around on social media and that’s where i met Ruth.
I didn’t know you and Vanessa were friends and to be honest I don’t take delight in what happened to Vanessa. And I feel part of it. I’m sorry Ruth but I just can’t turn back the hands of time.”
I didn’t say a word. I took out the psychologist list and checked out task Two which was “Forgiving the one who hurt you most” and that person was no other than Ampofo.
Everyone was curious to know why i was doing that but no one had the balls to even ask. I guess I was the man in here after all.
“Ampofo, I guess we all have our shortcomings.” I said “I forgive you but it will be hard for me to forget. All the same, I’m okay”
“I guess I’m next.” AK said.
“I really don’t want to hear it. “ I stopped him.
“You‘ve already made amends by bailing out my brother and I”
Having said that, I checked out the first task on the psychologist list that was “Forgive the one you love most” and that was indeed AK.
I was left with the fourth and last.
Indeed, that task was not something I saw coming. It was a personal request from my psychologist AJ and that was “Help me go out on a date with your brother”
I had already called her, and she was on her way to my place. Apparently, she developed some kind of interest in my brother during one of our sessions where we actually spoke at length about him.
She didn’t disappoint. AJ joined the dinner and before I could formally introduce my brother to her, they had found a subject matter and was laughing at it during the entire dinner. I know my brother, he doesn’t laugh out loud with a lady unless he likes the lady and I guess that was what was happening.
I climaxed the dinner by getting myself intoxicated with wine. I did that deliberately though.
I didn’t even know I had passed out. I only woke up around 10 AM at the sound of plates clinging to each other and giggles coming from the kitchen.
I wore my morning coat and headed to the kitchen and guess what, It was Vanderwal and AJ doing the dishes together. Apparently those two had spent the night together.
Love really goes where love is. I found myself smiling.
So I must say, this diary did had a happy ending for the people around me but not really me.
Finding love for myself was something I was still opened to and hoped that in no time, I may find one- I wasn’t desperate though but I was just hoping to find one.
THE END!!!
EL-WRITES (ELTON NANA AMOAH) 